Drug Baggies

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I want to rob. My parents’ house was robbed the day I was born. I have three big sisters; all of my stories are hand-me-downs. When I was little, all I wanted to write about was adult acne and how celebrities don’t have it. Except Posh Spice did, but she had rich-people treatments and then it stopped. I want to rob Victoria Beckham. I’m watching ‘Say You’ll Be There’, the second single from the Spice Girls, the only clip in which Posh’s ‘bad skin’ is kinda noticeable, if you watch it on HD, which didn’t exist when the Spice Girls did. ‘Bad skin’ as in ‘naughty skin’.

Imperfections. I guess people have heaps more intense medical issues than acne. Celebrity Death Match: Beavis versus Butthead. I want to rob MTV offices 1992. Angelina Jolie on a raft in Cambodia feeling no pain. Cis drag queen Mother Teresa bad bitch hacker riding Brad Pitt’s dick with, like, a thousand children, a double mastectomy. A Statue of Liberty. I want to rob Mother Theresa. I want to bankrupt America. I want her autograph tattooed up my arm. You’re all I ever wanted. Love u Angie J. I got felt up watching the Spice Girls movie in Year 9 by a guy who wasn’t my boyfriend, who was younger than me and that same night my cat died and since then I’ve been allergic to all animals, badly. My first boyfriend was Eminem.

The music videos for Los Del Rio’s ‘Macarena’ and the Spice Girls’ ‘Wannabe’ are the roots, bloody roots, of all contemporary tumblr girl fashions. I want to do Wimbledon, rob Los Del Rio in the sunshine, wear a cute hat and daisy chain. We’re actually in freefall. The 1994 series of Fruitopia adverts feature original Kate Bush compositions pumped over kaleidoscopic images, psychedelic swirl nonsense poems. Explore this series of commercials as the zenith of human cultural production evolution.

Free.