I arrive at work still half asleep but the sight of the thick and brightly orange cheese puffs scattered on the floor awakens me.
I said I wouldn’t.
Just one.I mean it … don’t.
I really shouldn’t.
I did it. It was yum.
I sweep the rest off the floor and when I go to empty the dustpan, I see the original home of the cheesy puff daddies in the bin – a half empty, I mean half full, packet of Jalapeño Poppers. Only in America. I think.
You really shouldn’t.
But I guess they’re only found in America. I think.
Then I really guess I should.
I proceed to eat the half full packet of Poppers I found in the bin.
This is why you don’t have a boyfriend.
A sweet looking boy with an English accent comes to the reception and asks to extend his stay.
‘I’d like to extend my stay,’ the sweet looking boy with an English accent (SLBWAEA) says.
‘Yeah, sure.’ Chit chat chit chat. It’s going pretty well.
‘Have I seen you working before?’
Don’t fall in love.
He’s just being friendly.
I go outside for a cigarette break and spot the SLBWAEA. Of course I approach him.
‘You see that squished cheese puff on the floor over there? They’re called Jalapeño Poppers. They’re exclusive to America. I think. They’re pretty good.’
‘Oh yeah? How do you know?’
Make something up
.I can’t think of anything!
Tell him you–
‘I ate one off the floor… and out of the bin. Please don’t judge me.’
Fuck.I know. Fuck!I know!
‘Yeah I‘m a pretty grubby girl.’ I’m telling him this now because he needs to know. Just in case he falls in love with me so it’s pertinent that he knows all about my grubby escapades. My grubscapades. My Grubscapades™. He laughs and says there’s another puff in the pot plant if I want some more.
‘I really shouldn’t.’
It’s only 3pm, I have six more hours of work and the warmth and stuffiness from the heater is lulling me to sleep.
Don’t fall asleep.
I’m… going… to… sleep…
Grace… wake… u…p…
‘Hey wake up!’ That sounded like… that sounded like my SLEBWAEA. I open my eyes and feel embarrassed that he caught me sleeping on the job. Actually, that makes me look cool… like I don’t care about the big man. Anarchy in the UK! That’s where he’s from. I look pretty cool.
He gestures to the door and motions at me to have a cigarette with him. Of course I go.
When we’re both done, my SLEBWAEA says, ‘All right, I have to go shower now. I’ll come talk to you later.’
I’ll come talk to you later. I’ll. Come. Talk. To. You. Later.
You fell in love again, didn’t you?