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The door opens and I slam the notebook shut. I put another book on top of it to make it seem untouched or like I'd moved it while I was tidying, but that doesn't make any sense so I took it off again as he walked in.
“You’re out of coffee so I just went and … oh. Have you been reading?”
I flush red.
“I am so, so–”
He waves his hand.
“Oh no, it’s okay. You can read it.”
“I found the part about me.”
“Did you like it?”
“Did I like it?”
“Yeah, the writing. Did you like it?”
“I mean it’s rough, obviously."
I look at him and realise he isn’t embarrassed at all.
“Actually?” My voice is much higher than I meant it to be. I clear my throat and start again.
“Actually, I didn’t like it. At all.”
“Because you make me look fucking ... fucking ...”
“Crazy? I thought –”
“– No.” I try to think of what I’m trying to say.
“I didn’t ask you to like, chase after me.”
He shrugs and says, “I just think it’s a fun and cute kind of story.”
I start to tremble and then shake and he still doesn’t speak.
“Well, it’s not meant for public consumption –”
I open my mouth to respond.
“– but, I’m sorry if you feel insecure.”
“I don’t feel insecure. I feel like ... like this is weird. That this is a really fucking weird thing to do.”
The word weird hits him and he winces.
“I think I should probably go.”
I open my mouth to apologise. I want to fix this in case it was something and so that I wasn’t the one who messed up this time.
He gestures at the coffee, “These were $4 each.”
I nod. He waits.
“Can I have my jumper back?”
I take it off and he is staring at me for at least a decade, and I want to say sorry but only if he says it first.
“This was disappointing.”
The door shuts behind him.
I get the sheets out and make my bed and try to stop feeling sorry.
Produced by Seizure AltTxt with the help of the Australian Copyright Agency.
Created by: Em Meller | Edited by: Justin Wolfers | Directed by: Justin Wolfers and Jack McAvoy
Starring: Freyja Benjamin, Anton du Chateau | Cinematography: Jack McAvoy | Development: Elle Williams | Music by: Guerre