It is positively the most wonderful time of the year here on the ranch. Why, we've already slaughtered three rare french hens and throttled that partridge that just would not gtfo of our pear orchard. I live to kill! Happy holidays everyone.
Edition three is here! Following a successful Late Night Library season at Kings Cross Library, Maeve Marsden has curated some exceptional work from writers in the LGBTQI community in Queerstories. Read Maeve’s editorial here, Zoë Coombs Marr’s Ode to Gay Barshere, and listen to Matthew Mitcham play a ukulele to accompany his piece, Habits, over here. Keep clicking until you get to Kids These Days by Oscar Monaghan, LGBTIQ+ by Georgia Cranko, Utterable Experience by Reverend Dorothy McRae-McMahon and In Costa Rica by Raewyn Connell. Consider these essential reading.
Two new Flashers! Down The Aisle, Music by Charlotte Guest takes you on a trip to the supermarket and peeps into the quick-fire internal longings of two late-night shoppers who want everyday rewards of a sexual nature. Holding On by Jane Downing gives us a small glimpse into the comings and goings of a town where the aged seemingly wait to die and be replaced. Best buy the house on the corner, if you can.
Help is on the way
I am determined to get you through this holiday season. If your family ask you why you're still single, just say 'I have a deathly fear of commitment!' If they ask you why you still have the same miserable job, just say 'I'm too lazy to make the effort to find another job that will still have the same soul-sucking effect as my current one!' And if they dare to ask when you are going to finish your novel, hold them in your icy glare, sound your internal siren and simply tell them 'I'm still researching the best methods to conduct a water tank escape within a 360 degree audience view, thereby holding the crux of my masterpiece in a deadlock until the most accurate information can be located, Anne.'
Hopefully you may be spared the holiday interrogations, and in the meantime, here are some helpful distractions.
The UK now has the first professor of comics! Tintin expert and graphic novelist, Benoit Peeters is now the official Professor of Comics at Lancaster University, and you are not.
In Grenoble, France, you can now buy short stories from a vending machine! Subscribers to the Short Èdition app upload fiction, poetry and experimental writing, which is then distributed and eventually printed on thin receipt paper from the vending machines. The project hopes to expand, so we may be hitting a short story vending machine and demanding our correct change very soon!
I still haven't managed to see the final Hunger Games movie, but at least we can all rest safe and sound knowing as always that THE BOOKS ARE BETTER THAN THE MOVIE, Anne.
For when you want to slip one earphone up your sleeve and pretend that you are just leaning on your hand while your parents are talking, here is a list of 25 exceptional podcasts for readers.
Here are Sylvia Plath's Holiday Cooking Tips. May your ham not rise out of the ash with its red hair and eat men like air.
Read Lamb Two Waysby Diana Abu-Jabar from The New Yorker. A fantastic essay taken from a longer work awaiting to be published next April, Abu-Jabar writes about the trials of living and eating on special occasions when one side of her family is Catholic, and the other Muslim. Delicious and tender, it will remind you that all families are different, difficult, and wonderful.
If you are anywhere near Canberra on Tuesday December 1, be sure to go see our very own Jane Rawson at Muse – a place where you can buy second-hand and new books but also eat and drink? 10 points to Gryffindor. The author of Formaldehyde will be discussing the book she wrote with James Whitmore, The Handbook: Surviving and Living with Climate Change. Rod Lamberts, deputy director of the National Centre for the Public Awareness of Science, ANU will be hosting the event. Tickets are $10, click here to book!
Now listen friends, I am more than delighted that you are all going to be spending some quality time with your families soon and getting sunburnt and blackout drunk with your dog, but you’ll never be as happy as me this holiday season, because I’m on my way to The Conjuring Arts Research Center to finally learn this magic trick for my niece’s 8th birthday.
Happy Holidays everyone! You’ll never have as much insight into the world as David Blaine!